The Daily Life of Zanpakutous
by xNaraku No Hanax21
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the manifested zanpakutous do whenever they're not fighting tojus? Well here it is, the private life they have behind their image!
1. Wabisuke

Ayane-san: xNaraku no Hanax21 does not own Bleach. All rights go towards Bleach. ^-^

Wabisuke: ...

Ayane-san: *nudges* Come on, say something.

Wabisuke: ...This is depressing...

Ayane-san & Saaya: What?

Saaya: A-Anyways... Ahem.. For this fanfic, we decided to switch the roles! Ayane-san helped me edited this, and I wrote it. Enjoy!

* * *

One lovely afternoon, Wabisuke was strolling down the streets of Rukongai with nothing in particular to do. As the happy chatters of the citizens stopped to glance at Wabisuke, they quickly ran away. Of course, those were the adults.

As he walked farther into the road, almost the entire road was emptied. Except when Wabisuke's eyes caught the shadows of four boys playing a ninja game, throwing paper shuriken around.

Wabisuke turned and walked towards the kids.

"Child, laugh for me," he said to one boy.

Feeling the touch of the zanpakutou's skinny hand, the boy glanced over his shoulder.

Colors drained from the young boy's face.

"GYAAAA!" The boy screamed, along with three other high-pitched screams. The frightened boys ran for their lives, -although tripping along the way and fell flat on their face and cried even more, they still got up and ran for it.

Wabisuke stood still as an empty wind blew by.

"What gloomy children," he commented.

* * *

The next day, Wabisuke was taking another walk around the Rukongai. He spotted a young girl with a baby in her hands. The baby was crying, while the girl was swaying the newborn around to comfort him.

Deciding to sooth the baby, he walked towards the baby, kneeled down to its level and said, "Child, laugh for me."

Like a miracle, the baby stopped wailing and stared straight into Wabisuke's eyes, which is a rare sight to see.

Wabisuke's eyes were wide with concern, but instead… He looks like as if he's ready to kill that baby.

So, the baby, scared the living daylights out of him, cried with all its might, fidgeting around the girl's small arms.

The little girl, of course, was scared as well. Her face paled, and her eyes were wide with horror. Of course, she did what everyone would say: "MOMMY!"

She ran away as fast as she can, and as far as her skinny legs can go.

Wabisuke stood back up, straightening his posture. "What gloomy children."

* * *

The day after that day, Wabisuke was again, taking another walk down the Rukongai. This time, the road was filled with only… cats?

Ignoring the cats' eyes following him, he walked on. Along the road, he found a baby cat. It seemed frail to Wabisuke, and had a nice tan brown fur, too, with huge jade green doll eyes.

Thinking that it was lost (since it was hiding under a chair), Wabisuke decided to have a little 'chat' with it.

"Child, laugh for me," he said, opening his palm for the cat to lick.

The cat stared at the hand for a while, blinked, and then gazed at Wabisuke's face. Its eyes went wide, and its furs, tail, and limbs stood straight up, hissing at the manifested spirit.

Immediately, the cat jumped to Wabisuke's face and scratched viciously with its deadly claws.

When it was done with its job, the baby cat purred satisfyingly and walked away, its tail shaking back and forth.

Face littered with scratches, Wabisuke stood watches the cat go away, and muttered, "What an ignorant and gloomy child."

* * *

The day after that day, Wabisuke decided to stay home. He was tired of walking around Rukongai, and having the kids shriek and run away. So, he decided to walk around the Third Division's garden.

The garden was always beautiful and full of greenery. Being careful not to step on the grass, Wabisuke tip-toed to the birdhouse.

Although it was unknown to everyone, Wabisuke would secretly feed the birds when they aren't in the birdhouse (since Wabisuke thought birds are hungry little things).

And so, Wabisuke took out a little handy bag filled with bread crumbs. He tore open the seal, and then poured it inside the shelter.

What Wabisuke didn't know, was that there were four unhatched eggs inside.

Maybe it was a coincidence, but the mother bird was right there, flying back to its home, eager to warm its eggs.

However, when the bird eyed Wabisuke, she snapped. Thinking the zanpakutou was an enemy wanting to take away its child; she glided downwards, and pecked wildly at Wabisuke's head.

"Ow," Wabisuke muttered with almost no emotion.

The mother bird ignored him and continued its pecking. After a series of pecking, the bird decided it was time to leave a little present for him.

She glided back up into the sky, and Wabisuke's eyes followed. He saw something white drip down from the bird, but he wasn't sure. When it dripped down on his forehead, Wabisuke instantly knew what it was.

Wabisuke stood still. "What a gloomy child."

* * *

"Oh, so how was your walk?" Kira asked, as his zanpakutou walked into the office. There was something white on his forehead, Kira noticed, but he didn't bother even asking.

"..Depressing as usual," Wabisuke replied.

A sweatdrop fell down Kira's head. "I-I see..."

"By the way," Wabisuke said, pointing to his forehead. "Do you mind getting me a towel? I got some bird droppings on my head."

"Wha-What?"

* * *

Ayane-san: We hope you enjoyed our second fanfiction. ^-^ Updates shall be coming soon~

Wabisuke: ...Please...Review...

Ayane-san: *flinches* So now you say something...

Saaya: Wabisuke-san, no need to act like you're gonna murder someone...

Wabisuke: ...But I was trying to help...


	2. Senbonzakura

Ayane-san: Once again, xNaraku no Hanax21 does not own Bleach.

Senbonzakura: Chiiii~

Ayane-san: N-Nani yo? (Wha-What?)

Senbonzakura: You put too many smiley faces.

Ayane-san: And you're too blunt and straight forward.

Saaya: Ahaha...Enjoy!

* * *

"Senbonzakura-san, there's a toju at the Rukongai," a Sixth Division's member reported diligently.

Nodding, Senbonzakura stood up and glanced at the nameless officer. "I'm on it," and with that, the manifested spirit swiftly walk passed the officer.

The officer sighed dreamily, with hearts in her eyes. "Kyaah…! Senbonzakura-san is so cool!"

"Yea, I agree," said another officer, who appeared out of nowhere.

"E-Eh? Where did you come from?" the nameless officer exclaimed.

"Haha, I appear whenever I feel like it, and whenever I don't feel like it, Fifth Seat," the other officer said with a glint. "But back to the topic, I do agree with you, Fifth Seat. Senbonzakura-san is definitely Kuchiki-taichou's zanpakutou! He's so dignified, and he always completes his work on time!"

The Fifth Seat nodded as well with a happy smile on her face. "Yes, yes, of course! I wonder what lies behind that mask? Kyah, I wanna know! Oh, and stop calling me Fifth Seat all the time, Sixth Seat."

Ms. Sixth Seat ignored the last comment. "Ooh, I wanna know too! I'll bet he's an exact replica of Kuchiki-taichou! Ahh, Senbonzakura-san is way cooler than Zabimaru-san, don't you think?"

"Yea, Abarai-fukutaichou completes his work, too, but his zanpakutou… Well, you know? They seem to even have difficulty dealing with a weak toju."

"Aren't they? Despite being two people, they have more of an advantage! Oh, dear, I got to go hand my paperwork to Kuchiki-taichou! Later, Fifth Seat!"

"Oh, and I got to hand some documents to Ukitake-taichou! Bye!"

And so, both Fifth and Sixth Seat went off their way, closing the door behind them.

In the shadows behind Byakuya's desk, lies a certain two partner, slightly peeping above from the desk. One was an adult and had long light brown hair, while the other was a boy with dark red hair. Both of them stare at the door with narrowed eyes.

"Hear that, Snakey?" asked the adult.

"Yea, I heard that, Chimpette," replied the child.

Jumping out from the shadows, the Zabimaru pair stood up straight, arms crossed and a clenched fist.

"Hmph! Those little girls don't even know Senbonzakura's true nature!" Snakey growled, with a stubborn pout on his face.

"Exactly!" Chimpette replied with a vein on her head. "Sure he may have a nice face, but his personality is like a kid's!"

"Not to mention about the time when it was his fault that we were forced to clean the entire Seireitei up!"

"Stop complaining, Snakey!" said the adult. "We've got to the toju or else we'll be compared to Senbonzakura, again!"

"You're complaining, too, Chimpette!" Snakey retorted back, but was quickly interrupted with Chimpette quickly pulled his chain and dragged him out. "Hey!"

By the time the Zabimaru pair came to the toju's location… It was already defeated by the honorable Senbonzakura.

They watch with blank eyes.

With one last scream, the toju fell to the floor and disappeared. Swiping the blood away from his katana as he sheathed his sword, a dignified aura was emitting from Senbonzakura, giving the Rukongai members a look of respect to him, and from his own division members.

Zabimaru angrily pouted and eyed the citizens.

"Good job, Senbonzakura-san!" said one of the seated officers, as he jogged up to the zanpakutou. "Today was also another magnificently done job!"

Senbonzakura didn't reply, he simply continued to walk.

The Zabimaru pair closely followed behind, trying to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Tonight, you can spend the rest of night as a break. We seated officers can handle the paperwork off your shoulders, so please take a good nights rest."

Ding! The offer struck Senbonzakura as if the clock hit twelve o'clock. "I'll gladly take up your offer."

Snakey and Chimpette's eyes slightly widened, as they both stared at each other. Their faces broke into a joker-like grin.

_This time! _They both thought gleefully, _this time, we'll tell everyone about Senbonzakura's true nature! _

"Hmm? Snakey and Chimpette, is something wrong?" Senbonzakura asked, glancing over his shoulder.

Their joker-like grins never faded away. "No~thi~ng~" they sang together.

Senbonzakura tilted his head to the side, confused about their unusual behavior. Well, to Senbonzakura, the Zabimaru pair was always this weird. He quickly shrugged it off and continued walking, ignoring the officer's small conversation.

That night, Zabimaru and Seonbonzakura were out drinking at the roof, admiring the beauty of the moon.

"Here, Senbonzakura, have some more," Chimpette offered, grabbing the bottle of sake.

"Oh, thanks, Chimpette," he replied, letting her pour the sake into his tiny cup.

Both Snakey and Chimpette's eyes gave a glint.

"Have some more if you want!" Snakey exclaimed, rubbing it in even further. "The sake's high quality tonight!" _Of course it is! Me and Chimpette spent half of our allowances on this good sake!_

"Have some snacks that go with sake, too," Chimpette offered, digging it even further. "These are tasty, too." _And we spent a third of our allowances on the snacks! You better enjoy it, Senbonzakura!_

"Oh… Thanks, Chimpette," He gratefully took the box of dried fish and popped on one in his mouth. "Hey, this is good with sake…" Slowly, the world around him was getting a little hazy. Feeling his eyelids getting heavy, he resisted and tried to keep them open. He took another sip of his sake, hoping that it will help him stay awake.

The Zabimaru's pair's eyes gave another glint with a mischievous grin.

"Haha, what's wrong, Senbonzakura? Getting drunk already?" Chimpette happily said, patting him on the back.

"No…," Senbonzakura replied, regaining his posture. "I'll have another cup."

"Here ya go!" Snakey intervened, holding the bottle of sake.

"Thanks," Senbonzakura drank the alcoholic drink in one gulp and banged his tiny cup down. "Another one!"

Snakey held the bottle up. "Comin' right up!"

After another round of drinking, the manifested cherry blossom spirit collapsed to the ground. "I can't drink anymore…" he muttered under his breath.

Both monkey and snake gave out another glint, with their eyes like a red dot. _Chance! _They thought.

"So, Senbonzakura!" Chimpette smiled, leaning down to Senbonzakura's face. "How was your toju hunting today?"

"Meh… It was too easy…" Senbonzakura replied weakly, waving his hand. "I can't believe they actually call me to defeat such an easy opponent. Even Suzumebachi can defeat them!"

"How about the compliments you get from everyone?" asked the snake, floating above the cherry blossom.

"Tch… They're always, 'Senbonzakura-san this,' 'Senbonzakura-san that,' I've had it! What the hell do they want! They expect me to rush paperwork and defeat tojus at the same time, what the hell do they want!" he sighed. "If only you two can take my place…"

"Oh, we'd love to!" the Zabimaru partners said in harmony.

"You would?" Senbonzakura asked, with a tint of joy in his tone.

"Of course! That way, Senbonzakura can take a break and-"

"Hey, Chimpette," Snakey interrupted. "What is that in the sky?"

"Huh?" Looking up in the sky, Chimpette knew her partner was right. "You're right, what is that?"

"Could it be a plane?" Snakey suggested.

"Nah, it's too large to be a plane. It's probably a bird, planes don't exist in the Soul Society anyways," Chimpette said.

"Hey, look, there's another one."

"Hey, you're right. This one looks like Senbonzakura! Hey, look-" By this time, realization smacked Chimpette on the face.

"Hm? Chimpette, what happened-"

"It _is _Senbonzakura!" Chimpette shouted with a horrified face.

"What!" Snakey shouted with the same horror, looking up at the sky. He squinted his eyes for a better view. "Hey, it is! But, Senbonzakura is supposed to be here-" he glanced at the floor, only to find the zanpakutou's outline flashing in the air. "He's gone!"

"C'mon, Snakey, let's go after him! That thing next to him is a toju! We can't have him drunk and fight!"

"Y-You're right! C'mon, let's go!"

Snakey and Chimpette jumped off from the roof and easily flew into the air until they met the cherry blossom fighting a toju.

"Hmph, a lowly toju like this cannot harm me!" Senbonzakura declared, pointing his katana at the beast.

The toju growled. "Hmph, as if a lowly manifested spirit can beat _me_!"

"What was that, you low-life?" Irked, Senbonzakura recklessly charged straight towards the smirking toju.

"Senbonzakura!" the Zabimaru pair shouted. "Wait-"

"AAARRGGHHH!"

Blood flew out into the air, sparkling like a red gem. Senbonzakura magnificently sheathed his katana back, with his hair gently waving in the air, giving off a dignified presence.

The toju disappeared with a flash.

Dumbfounded, the Zabimaru pair stared with open mouths.

"Hmph," Senbonzakura snorted. "You arrogant fool… Do you think such a low-life can defeat me, the strongest zanpakutou in Soul Society? You've got another thought coming if someone such as yourself can defeat me, Senbonzakura!"

Chimpette sighed and slapped her forehead. "Even after he's drunk…"

Snakey sighed as well and shook his head. "…He was still able to defeat the toju…."

Both of them heaved a heavy sigh.

"Come now!" Senbonzakura shouted. "The night is still young my friends, let us drink to our heart's content until the sun rises!"

Zabimaru paled. "Hell no!" And they ran away.

Senbonzakura stood at his spot. "What's gotten into them? Oh well, more sake for me, then!"

And so, Senbonzakura drank to his heart's content until the next sunrise.

The next day, the Zabimaru pair irritatingly sat in their seats, leaning on their hands with a pout.

"Did you hear? Kuchiki-taichou's zanpakutou took care of another toju, even on his day off! Isn't he amazing?" complimented one officer, as he walked.

Another officer nodded agreeably. "Yea! As expected of Kuchiki-taichou's zanpakutou! I heard that Abarai-fukutaichou's zanpakutou was there and didn't do a thing."

"Hah, even if they were there, they'll probably just get in the way," commented another.

A big vein popped on Snakey and Chimpeny's head as the trio walked away.

"Tch, they don't even know how drunk he was!" said Snakey.

"And to think he defeated the enemy even though he was drunk…." said Chimpette. They looked at each other and sighed heavily.

Chimpette leaned on her palm. "Well, I guess that's one good thing about him…"

Snakey shot her a stern look. "Don't forget what happened last night, Chimpette! He almost forced us to drink with him until sunrise and forgot about it the next morning!"

"Even if we did tell them Senbonzakura's true nature, they probably won't even believe us."

"That's true…" Zabimaru let out a huge sigh again.

Senbonzakura sneezed.

"Hm? Senbonzakura, did you catch a cold?" Byakuya asked.

"No… I certainly do feel kind of dizzy… I wonder why?" the zanpakutou replied.

"Well, take care of yourself. Especially during spring, when the seasons are changing. By the way, where were you last night?"

"I was out drinking with Zabimaru."

"And? What else?"

"Hmm… I'm not sure myself…"

"I heard that you defeated a toju last night," Byakuya glanced at him from the corner of his eye. "Is that true?"

"Hmm… Maybe I did…" Senbonzakura stroke his chin, deeply in thought.

Byakuya leaned back in his chair. "You were probably too drunk to remember. I doubt that you can defeat a toju while drunk."

"You're right. Even I can't defeat a toju while drunk."

"Right?"

* * *

Ayane-san: ^_^ I hope you all enjoyed our second chapter! Please review~

Saaya: It's rather long, isn't it?


	3. Sode no Shirayuki

Ayane-san & Saaya: Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!~ ^_^

Saaya: Although this takes place during the summer…. It's snowing here as I'm writing this!

* * *

The sun was burning the entire Seireitei. All the shinigamis are exhausted from the heat, sweating from missions… Just standing there is enough to make you feel tired.

Today's topic will be about Sode no Shirayuki.

A Sixth Division member passes by. "Hm? Sode no Shirayuki-san, aren't you hot from wearing long sleeves?"

Sode no Shirayuki shook her head. "No," she replied. "White is against heat, so it's a very warm day to me today! But, you seem to be much warmer than me. Are you fine?"

The seated officer shook his head, fanning himself with his hand. "Ah, yes, it is indeed very _scorching hot _out here, Sode no Shirayuki-san. If you don't mind, please me excuse, I have some documents to hand over."

The zanpakutou nodded and stepped the side, letting the officer pass by. Then she turned around walk down the halls. She held her sleeve up to her lips. Her eyes gave a glint. _It is indeed hot today. Maybe I should go to my _secret_ room for today._

Senbonzakura fumbled out of the bushes. "Someone really needs to cut these grasses," he mumbled under his breath. "It isn't very convenient to get through, especially when taking a shortcut. Hm?" his eyes caught the snowy zanpakutou. "Sode no Shirayuki..? What is she doing?" Curious, he silently matched her footsteps, trailing closely behind.

He followed his fellow zanpakutou everywhere, whether it's the kitchen, other division offices, or bathroom (of course, he didn't went in), until when he saw her enter a locked door engraved on the back of the Thirteenth Division's property.

Sode no Shirayuki placed her hand on the knob for a minute. She glanced to her left. No one was there. She glanced to her right. No one was there.

Allowing a tiny smile, she opened the door.

Senbonzakura quickly followed behind. When the door almost shut on him, he saw white snowflakes flying out, along with a wintry gust of wind!

"Whoa!" Senbonzakura said against the wind that soon died down. "A blizzard!"

Getting back on track, the manifested spirit peeked through a window that seems suspiciously took dark to see through. He took a rock from the garden to stand on, and peeked through the black window.

Vaguely, he can see his master's little sister's zanpakutou through the glass. Sode no Shirayuki was someone you can never miss among a crowd because of her light clothes.

Senbonzakura squinted his eyes for a better view and leaned closer. "Ah," he mumbled when he finally can see.

Just behind that tiny window… Sode no Shirayuki was sitting on a couch made of ice, eating shaved ice with sake, in a room full of air conditioning… And with snow flying around?

"What the-" Senbonzakura gasped. He stumbled over the rock, and big crash resulted.

Sode no Shirayuki gave a glint at the window. "Who's there?"

Senbonzakura silenced himself as well as he could, not moving a millimeter or breathing.

The snowy zanpakutou sighed and continued back to eating her shaved ice. "Mmm… Strawberry flavored shaved ice is so good!"

_Is she trying to torture me!_ Senbonzakura thought, thinking back when Sode no Shirayuki was drinking sake.

But nonetheless, Senbonzakura sighed. Who knew Sode no Shirayuki was so secretive and knew how to relax?

* * *

Rukia let out a tired breath, fanning herself. "It's so hot today…." she muttered. When she heard the door slide open, she instantly glanced at the door. "Ah, Sode no Shirayuki!"

Her zanpakutou bowed. "Hello, Rukia-sama."

"Where have you been?" Rukia asked, as she continued to fan herself.

Sode no Shirayuki smiled. "Nowhere personally," she said happily.

Rukia titled her head the side. _Why does she look so refreshed?

* * *

_Ayane-san: Chapter three is finally updated! o Please review!

Sode no Shirayuki: Please review this wonderful story. *smiles*

Senbonzakura: You're only saying that because you're the main character in this chapter. *sweatdrop*

Saaya: Didn't you already have your turn to talk in the previous chapter?


	4. Kazeshini

Ayane-san: ALRIGHT! FOURTH CHAPTER IS UP!

Kazeshini: Why do I have to be in this chapter? AND WITH THIS GUY! *points at Hisagi*

Ayane-san: Cause the readers asked for it... NOW JUST COOPERATE AND QUIT COMPLAINING!

Kazeshini: Yes, ma'am...

Hisagi: Is she always this tough? *sweatdrop*

Saaya: Well, yea. Don't worry, *pats of shoulder* no shounen-ai is intended for you and Kazeshini in this chapter.

Hisagi & Kazeshini: You better. *glares* Cuz I'm not carrying this guy ever again.

* * *

Kazeshini smirked as he glanced over his shoulder. "Hah! Is that all you got, Hisagi? And I thought you were a lieutenant, too!" he mocked.

Hisagi remained silent. He knew fighting with his own zanpakutou would be meaningless.

Kazeshini snorted as his silence. "Hmph, whatever!" He continued to jump from tree to tree, with Hisagi following closely behind.

Are they training? Or is Hisagi just chasing after Kazeshini for no apparent reason, again? That remains as a mystery.

A few hours later, the sun begins to sink down. Both master and zanpakutou have been jumping for hours, and Hisagi is tired like crazy!

"Hah! Tired already, Hisagi?" Kazeshini mocked again with a smirk.

"Sh-Shut up!" Hisagi retorted back. "I'm not tired at all! I can still go on!"

"Heh, let'see you try!"

"Of course! Hey, Kazeshini, stop!"

"Bah, who's gonna listen to you?"

"No, I mean it, stop!"

"What? You're so annoying! What do you-"

_Splat._

Kazeshini had a big question mark over his head. Just now, when he landed onto the ground, his feet landed on something… soft?

Oh, now it's starting to smell. What is that foul smell?

Hisagi landed in back of Kazeshini, and slapped his forehead with his palm, sighing and shaking his head. "I warned you…"

Kazeshini flushed with embarrassment. "Shut up!" he angrily replied. "It's that thing's fault! It's not my fault!"

Hisagi sighed again. "But… What you stepped on was…. Dog crap."

Kazeshini felt his face boiling with rage and embarrassment. "Sh… SHUT UP!"

Hisagi sighed again, as Kazeshini took a seat on a giant rock. He simply "Tch"'ed and looked away. Other than taking care of a child, stepping on dog crap was extremely embarrassing to him, as well as dirty.

Hisagi put his hands on his hips and let out a tired breath. Then he bent down, faced his back and arm to Kazeshini. "Here, I'll piggyback you home," he said.

Kazeshini knew that he was as red as a cherry, which was clearly visible. He immediately stood up. "I-I don't need your help! I CAN DO THIS BY MYSELF!" He took one step, and squish, the crap squashed at the end of his shoe was _very _uncomfortable.

Hisagi fought the laughter that was coming. He bit his lips to so hard that he was turning red. Well, not as red as Kazeshini.

The Ninth Division's lieutenant forcibly grabbed his manifested zanpakutou's legs and positioned it into a piggyback ride.

Now, Kazeshini had the redness of a tomato mixed in with the color of cherry. "Wha-What… WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" he roared.

"Idiot, I'm taking you home," Hisagi simply replied, as he walked.

"I don't need your help," the zanpakutou replied, his embarrassment toned down to complete anger.

"Whatever you say," Hisagi sighed.

As they walked through the woods, they argued and argued, without stopping. When they walked through the Rukongai, no one really paid them any serious attention, except for the fact that a guy is piggybacking another guy (much to Kazeshini's embarrassment). When they walked through the Seireitei…. It was hell for Kazeshini. Shinigami were whispering to the person next to them, some were holding their nose to avoid the foul stench of crap the followed, and some were nervously greeting them politely.

And Hisagi would reply, "Oh, hey! How's it going?" without any shame or anything.

Kazeshini always felt that his master was too soft and stupid, but for once… He actually felt _ashamed _of his master.

When they reached the barracks, Hisagi helped his zanpakutou clean his foot like a child. Kazeshini wanted himself and Hisagi to die right now.

"There!" Hisagi exclaimed happily. "It's all clean now!"

"Err…. Th-Thanks…." Kazeshini said awkwardly, as he slipped back his shoe. Then it hit him. _D-Don't tell me… He's doing this one purpose to humiliate me! _He shot Hisagi a deadly glare at Hisagi, who was too busy to notice as he cleans the towels.

* * *

The next day, Kazeshini took a stroll around the Tenth Division. There, he bumped into Haineko.

"Oh, sorry," Kazeshini said. He was about to move on until Haineko stopped him.

"Hey, I heard," she grinned. "Your master took pretty good care of you, didn't he?"

"What?" Kazeshini cried out.

Haineko grinned even wider and then showed him the Seireitei Communication Magazine. "Look!"

Kazeshini flipped through the magazine pages. When his eyes caught the latest news… He was so embarrassed that he stomped on the freakin magazine.

"SCREW YOU, HISAGI!"

What did the article say? Well, there is a giant picture of Hisagi piggybacking Kazeshini and the article said in bold:

**Hisagi Shuuhei-fukutaichou of the Ninth Division piggybacks his manifested zanpakutou? Could this be a 'forbidden' relationship between a master and his zanpakutou?**

From that day on, Kazeshini wanted to slaughter Hisagi with an insane laugh like Kenpachi.

* * *

The very next day, Hisagi was diligently working on paperwork. There were so many questions for the Seireitei Communication, and he had to respond to every single one of them (mostly all of them were about his relationship with Kazeshini) and he had mountains of paperwork to do! Luckily, he was halfway done with everything! That was… until Kira came in!

"Oh, hey, Kira," Hisagi greeted, stopping his scribbling for a moment.

"Good morning, Hisagi," Kira greeted back. "How's work going?"

"It's pretty good so far. Hey, about you help me out here?"

Kira backed away. "No, it's fine. By the way, I came here to ask you about you and Kaze-" He froze when he saw something shoot pass through, merely millimeters away from his cheek.

"Wha-What is this!" Hisagi shouted. It was an arrow that flew by, and there was fire lighting up at the point. At the end of the arrow, there was a message that says: "_**I WILL GET MY REVENGE! **_From Kazeshini" And most of all… The fire-coated arrow… landed straight on Hisagi's paperwork.

The silence filled the air for a minute. Until Hisagi banged the table with fist, creating a dent. With a very, very, dark aura, he screamed, "SCREW YOU, KAZESHINI!"

Kira sweat dropped. "I guess I don't need to ask anymore…"

* * *

Ayane-san: PLEASE REVIEW THIS LOVELY STORY!

Kazeshini: *Menacing aura erupts* WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME STEP ON DOG CRAP!

Ayane-san: IT'S FOR HUMOR! And besides... You're the pathetic one to actually step on it yourself.

Kazeshini: Geh!

Saaya: Despite being a zanpakutou who does nothing but kill, you'll have to take the responsibility to take care of yourself. Blaming others is the same as accusing someone of murder when you're the one who did it.

Kazeshini: *crouches in the corner*


	5. Zangetsu

Ayane-san: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter, we've been very busy lately, and there was a writer's block... Oh you know what I mean.

Zangetsu: I finally get to appear.

Ayane-san: Well we couldn't think of anyone else, so we had to pick you. In other words, we had no choice. *sighs*

Zangetsu: That sounds ungrateful.

Ayane-san: Whatever, now say what you are told to say.

Zangetsu: xxNarakunohanaxx21 does not own Bleach.

* * *

It was a quiet and peaceful time in Ichigo's inner world. The tall buildings that were always full of hope touched the calming sky, were proudly as ever. The clouds were hanging around lazily doing nothing in particular.

All of this was paradise to a certain zanpakutou inhabiting in this world, Zangetsu.

The calm wind blew his ragged robe as he stared into the open sky. "Such calmness…"

"Oi! Zangetsu!"

The old man sighed. _Why must I put up with this fool? _"What do you want?" Zangetsu inquired as he stared at Hollow Ichigo.

Hollow Ichigo smirked. Then he slowly took out something behind him.

Zangetsu raised an eyebrow, curious to what he's going to do.

Slowly, as if time had been delayed, Hollow Ichigo only made it one inch into bringing out whatever was in back of him.

"…" Zangetsu had lost patience. "If you're going to do something, do it already!"

Hollow Ichigo smirked and then took it out at full speed. "Let's play Indian Poker!"

Zangetsu banged his head onto a nearby wall. Literally.

Then he looked up with his usual normal face, as if nothing had happened just now. Except for that crumbling wall where he just hit.

"Fine. Let's play. What are we going to use as a bet?" Zangetsu questioned.

Hollow Ichigo shrugged. "I dunno. We'll just use these rocks on the floor." He knelt down and began to pick up some rocks on the floor.

Zangetsu nodded. "Very well."

When Hollow Ichigo was done picking rocks, they started the game. Both had very, very intense stares at each other. Keeping those stares, they both slid the first card and put it on their foreheads.

Zangetsu stared at Hollow Ichigo's card. _Four of hearts, eh? That's rather high… _Zangetsu looked up, thinking. _Then… _He grabbed his rocks and lined five of them up.

Hollow Ichigo smirked. _Bettin' on five, eh? _He took a glance at Zangetsu's card. It was the five of spades card. _Hah! Weak little thing! _He grabbed his rocks and began to line them up, until…

"HEY ZANGETSU OLD MAN!"

The inner world suddenly trembled, and made the two players lose their balance and let the card slip out of their hands.

…

…

"Ah!"

Zangetsu smirked. "It's my win," he said simply.

A vein popped on the hollow's head. "Hey! I wasn't even done betting!"

"No use crying over spilt milk," Zangetsu said simply. Hollow Ichigo began to rant on about how unfair and demands a rematch, but the zanpakutou simply ignored him and faced towards the sky. "What is it, Ichigo?"

Sweat rolled down Ichigo's forehead as he bit his lip. "I-I need help… Rather, this is quite painful…"

"…What do you mean, Ichigo?" Hollow Ichigo stopped miraculously. He listened to their conversation carefully.

"I need an advice-OW! Stop, it hurts!"

Zangetsu and Hollow Ichigo glanced at each other.

Then they heard a feminine voice. "What's wrong, Ichigo? Giving up yet?"

"No, of course not! I'll bring you down!"

"You need more strength, Ichigo!"

Hollow Ichigo's face slightly went red. Zangetsu simply looked away, apparently ashamed.

"Zangetsu old man…" Ichigo said, sounding like he's in great pain. "Tell me…"

"Ichigo…" Zangetsu replied softly. "I have no experience on what you're doing, so-"

"How do I beat a girl in arm wrestling?"

Both of their eyes popped out.

_What did he just say? _Both Zangetsu and Hollow Ichigo thought, still a bit shocked from the sudden question.

"Old man? Are you there?" Ichigo asked.

"A-Ah, yes,"Zangetsu replied, looking away. "If you want to beat this girl in arm wrestling, then use your entire strength and pull her down."

"…That's called using brute strength and that's exactly what I'm doing right now!"

"I see… Then, see you, Ichigo," Zangetsu slowly began to fade away from Ichigo's mind.

"Wha-What? Zangetsu old man, where are you going?" Ichigo suddenly exclaimed which made his grip loosen.

Tatsuki's eyes glinted. Seizing this chance, she pulled Ichigo's hand down.

"AH!" Ichigo suddenly yelped.

"Hah! I win, Ichigo!" Tatsuki exclaimed mightily. "Now you owe me a year's worth of yakisoba!"

"No way! I was just caught off guard!"

"No excuses!"

"No way! Zangetsu old man, where did you go? Damn it!"

Back inside his inner word, Hollow Ichigo was attempting to comfort his friend.

"It's all a misunderstanding, don't worry about it," he said, biting back his laugh.

"I don't need your fake sympathy," Zangetsu replied with a vein.

* * *

The next day, Zangetsu was enjoying his solitude. Hollow Ichigo was sleeping for once, and Ichigo was studying, so he has his mouth shut.

_Alas, I have my solitude…_ Zangetsu thought with satisfactory. _Now let's-_

"Zangetsuu~!" came Hollow Ichigo's sleep talk.

Zangetsu stopped with a vein on his head.

"Zangetsuuu~ Battle meee!" It sounded like he was drunk.

_Thi-This guy! _Zangetsu loomed over the sleeping man with a vein. _He's always been pulling foolish pranks on me…_ Then it struck him. Immediately, he used shunpo and disappeared in an instant.

Hollow Ichigo grumbled wordlessly as he turned in his sleep. His closed eyes met direct sunlight that it forced him to wake up. He got up sluggishly, blinked and yawned tiredly.

"What the heck… This world doesn't have sunlight…" he muttered. He took a close look around him. He was sleeping on soft grass that weren't prickly and sharp. Next to him was an old house that looks like it existed in the Edo period?

His head fell over to one side. He had no idea where he was.

"Oh, my, Momotarou, so this where you were!"

Hollow Ichigo blinked. He turned around and met face to face with… Orihime.

"You're Ichigo's-" Hollow Ichigo began, but was suddenly cut off when a _giant _man was coming his way.

"Are you done making them, Sado-kun?" Orihime asked with a smile. Chad nodded and handed a bag filled with dumplings to Hollow Ichigo.

Although perplexed, he took it anyways.

"Now, go on to your journey, Momotarou," Orihime said.

"Wh-What, I'm not Momotarou, I'm-"

"What are you talking about, Momotarou? You are Momotarou and no one else!" the orange teen said with a pout. "Now hurry and defeat the big monster and come back to us." She quickly pushed him to his cart.

"O-Oi, I don't get" he sweatdropped when Chad came stomping towards him and overshadowed him.

He leaned incredibly close to him. "Take care," was all Chad said.

"Y-Yea…" Hollow Ichigo said slowly. "I-I'm off…"

Orihime waved brightly. "Take care!" She didn't stop waving until she couldn't see the boy anymore. She let out a satisfying sigh and smiled. "Well, our job here is done, Sado-kun! Let's go home!"

Chad nodded silently.

Hollow Ichigo was still thinking about what had just happened. "Those kids were Ichigo's friends…" he mumbled. "And they're calling me Momotarou… Momotarou, as in that story about Momotarou? If this keeps up, then I'm going to meet…"

"Momotarou! Please give us your dumplings and we'll help guide you to the monster's hideout!"

"…I knew it," he said with a sweatdrop. He turned his head to his right without any effort and saw the peasant, monkey and dog.

"I'll help sniff the monster out for you," said the dog… who was Komamura.

"I'll help you look for the monster for you," said the bird… who was Ishida.

"…And I'll help defeat the monster for you," said the monkey, who was…

"Ichigo!" Hollow Ichigo exclaimed. "What're you doing here?"

"Hah?" Ichigo blurted out, his hands on his hip. "I'm just a stray monkey. I'm no Ichigo."

"What're you talking about? You're Ichigo, and I'm your hollow self!"

"You're Momotarou, aren't you?"

"Right now I am, but-"

"Alright, stop it now everyone," Ishida cut in, pushing the two away. He pushed up his glasses and straightened his back. "Let's hurry up and go defeat the big monster so we can all get this done and over with."

"Exactly," Komamura said. "I have paperwork to do."

Everything was spinning and dancing in Hollow Ichigo's head. Was this a dream or reality? Orihime and Chad were acting as if they were a different person, Komamura said he had paperwork to do, which was true… He didn't even know what reality was anymore.

Ishida pushed up his glasses. "Alright, now let's skip the traveling part… And skip to the climax!"

_Da-dum! _Here they are, at the big monster's castle.

"Oi, why did we skip?" the monkey questioned to the peasant.

"That way I can show off my skills faster," Ishida replied with a glint.

Ichigo stood there far away with his jaws hanging down.

"Anyways," the peasant took out his arrow. "Let's begin."

Komamura took out his sword and nodded beside the peasant.

Hollow Ichigo, who was still confused, still had no idea what to do. "O-Oi, who's the big monster?"

"Hmph, foolish humans," echoed a dark and calm voice. "I praise you for even having the courage to enter this place, but that will be gone once I defeat you!" A dark figure rose from below. With his robes fluttering, the figure turned around and the face was… Zangetsu.

"Zangetsu!" Hollow Ichigo exclaimed. "What're you doing here!"

"Momotarou," Zangetsu nodded. "I see, so you made it, too."

"Are you implying that you didn't see me?"

Zangetsu did not hear that. "With your three companions, come and defeat me if you can, Momo-AGH!" Ichigo threw a punch right in the middle of Zangetsu's face!

Zangetsu fell back, stumbling and nearly losing his balance. "C-Curse you…" And then he collapsed onto the ground.

The three companions cheered and slapped hands together. "We did it!" they cheered.

Hollow Ichigo blinked. "What the heck? Zangetsu died? That's not possible!"

* * *

"What the heck? Zangetsu died? That's not possible!" Hollow Ichigo continued to sleep talk about how Zangetsu will not die like that so easily.

A vein popped on Zangetsu's head as he gripped on the storybook. "This fool… Is he dreaming that I'm dying, despite me pulling this prank on him!"

And so, Zangetsu's prank for revenge backfired and Hollow Ichigo began to pester him even more after his dream, wondering if Zangetsu could actually be defeated to easily.

* * *

Ayane-san: We hope you liked the story. *bows*

Zangetsu: ...*gloomy aura*

Ayane-san: G-Geh! What's wrong with you? *sweatdrop*

Zangetsu: *slowly turns to Ayane-san* All you did... was make my life worse...

Ayane-san: W-Well, anyways everyone, p-please review.


	6. Haineko

Ayane-san : Sorry for the late chapter *bows*. But over all, please enjoy it.

Hyourinamru: xNaraku No Hanax21 does not own Bleach, all rights are reserved

Ayane-san: Good job, Hyourinamru! We havn't said that in a while, thanks for mentioning it!

Hyourinmaru: No trouble at all.

Ayane-san: And now onto the chapter!

* * *

First Day, 8:00 In The Morning.

Haineko yawned and rubbed her sleepy eyes. She did a quick series of stretches (cat-like stretches, to be honest) and then rubbed her eyes again. She slipped out of her futon and opened her room's sliding doors wide, inviting the gentle sunlight and fresh air in.

She stretched her arms again in front of the sun, letting out another yawn. "Alright! Time to get the day started!"

**

* * *

Put on make-up and dress up.**

Haineko looked at herself several times in the mirror. She did different poses, tried on different outfits. All of them were so cute-she just couldn't decide!

"I think I'll go with this!"

In the end, she chose her usual outfits.

And so, she walked out of her room just like that, abandoning the messed up futon and the bundles of clothes on the ground.

**

* * *

Eat breakfast.**

A tray of warm, piping hot bowl of rice and some side dishes were laid out in front of the zanpakutou, with steam escaping visibly.

"I'll eat now!"

She tapped her chopsticks together and immediately gulped down her food.

"Thanks for the meal!"

She took a sip of her tea, and then walked away, continuing on.

**

* * *

Meet with Matsumoto.**

Both master and zanpakutou sighed and tapped their pens on their head. Both of them never did liked to do paperwork. They wanted to go out, go shopping, enjoy the air!

They usually left it to Hitsugaya to do the miserable paperwork.

"Hey, Rangiku," Haineko began, filling her paperwork out.

"Yea?" Matsumoto replied, filling out her paperwork lazily as well.

"I'm kinda tired."

"Me, too."

"Wanna go out later for some lunch?"

"How about now?"

Both of them gave each other a glint. An evil smirk crept up their lips. They both got up, smashed their pens onto the desk, and smiled despite all the noise they made from merely getting up.

Hitsugaya and Hyourinmaru (who just sat there) stared at them. "Matsumoto, what are you doing?"

"Taichou!" Matsumoto exclaimed. They linked their arms together, and then made a sudden mad dash to the door! How fast!

"We're going out for a bit~!"

All that was left was Matsumoto's echoing voice, dust, a stunned Hitsugaya and a nonchalant Hyourinmaru.

"Oi…" Hitsugaya uttered out. "You're not done with your paperwork yet…"

Hyourinmaru simply sat there, not saying a word. He was waiting for his master to explode. In Hyourinmaru's opinion, it was better to let anger out, for it keeps the mind and body healthy.

But that was an excuse Hyourinmaru made. (Well, some of it could be true.)

He just didn't want to help out with paperwork.

Hitsugaya started to tremble. Tightening his fists, and shouted out the usual, "MATSUMOTO!"

Haineko and Matsumoto simply whistled and kept on a skeptical face, pretending that they did not hear that.

"It's such fine weather today, isn't it, Haineko!"

"Of course! We did not hear any shoutings, right~!"

They both blinked at each other, and said together, "Right~!"

Dear readers, let us pray that they won't face hell together. (Note To Good Children: Please don't grow up to be like this pair.)

**

* * *

Lunch time means seeing Tobiume!**

Matsumoto and Haineko ate leisurely at an old restaurant. Matsumoto had a bowl of ramen while Haineko had a plate of curry.

Then, Tobiume popped up!

"Oh, good afternoon, Rangiku-san, Haineko," she greeted, taking a seat beside Matsumoto.

"Oh, good afternoon, Tobiume," Matsumoto replied, taking a sip of her water. "Taking a break as well?"

"Yes," she replied. "Momo-san insisted me on taking a break, so I took up her offer."

"Your master sure does know how to manage people well," Haineko commented.

Tobiume laughed proudly. "Well! She is Momo-san after all!"

"Anyways," Haineko said quickly, pretending she didn't hear that. "Let's go somewhere tonight. I'm going to meet up with Hyourinmaru and Senbonzakura later."

"Hmm…" Tobiume thought about it for a moment. "Sure. I'm pretty free tonight after all."

"Alright!" the zanpakutou cheered. "Rangiku'll come too, right?"

Matsumoto shook her head. "No, I'm meeting up with Shuuhei and Kira later. Sorry; maybe next time, ok?"

"Hmm… I guess that's fine as well…" Haineko wasn't sure if she was either happy, disappointed, or neither.

**

* * *

Get back to your paperwork!**

Let's summarize what is happening now, for as Hitsugaya's rantings are too long: Hitsugaya was very, very pissed that _both _of them ditched him and went to lunch for over an hour and left him to do the paperwork for over an hour, while Hyourinmaru just sat there. Surprisingly, he didn't get scolded, while Haineko and Matsumoto were sitting down like children getting their punishment.

**

* * *

Tonight!**

Senbonzakura and Haineko were already on their fourth cup of sake, and they were already drunk! Hyourinmaru and Tobiume sat there and ate their food in peace, apparently able to ignore all the noise.

"So how's work?" Tobiume brought up casually.

"It's good," Hyourinmaru replied casually.

"How's Hitsugaya-taichou?"

"He's fine."

And so the two of them ate in peace.

Meanwhile, on Senbonzakura and Haineko's side…

"Geez, Senbonzakura, you're such a joker!" Haineko laughed, slapping him on the arm.

"No, no, I was merely telling the truth," the cherry blossom zanpakutou replied, sipping his sake.

She simply laughed and then slid herself over to Hyourinmaru.

"Hey, darling~" Haineko slurred, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Let's have a drink! I also dressed up myself quite a bit to brush up my looks. How do I look?"

Hyourinmaru didn't even take a glance at her. He merely stared straight ahead, chewing on his food. "You know, instead of brushing up your looks, you should brush up your skills instead. Besides, you look the same. I see no difference in you at all. Is appearance really that significant to women? People judge others simply on their looks, and not on the inside. Those people are simply the people who pick on others. Hainkeo, I believe that you are no bully, seeing that you are a girl, but here is what I want to understand: Why must girls be so persistent on how they look?"

Despite saying so many words in one breath, he didn't look exhausted at all. Tobiume, Haineko and Senbonzakura simply stared at him with a frozen face. It was suddenly all quiet, until Haineko's teeth chattered.

She was left speechless. Man did those words had a huge impact on her!

**

* * *

The next day, 8 in the morning.**

Haineko yawned sluggishly and rubbed her head. Her hair was a lot frizzier than usual. How come?

Glancing at the door, she noticed that it was wet. She heard splatter sounds from outside.

Rain?

Apparently that's what Haineko went with. She got up and walked over to her mirror. She had a huge headache from drinking with Senbonzakura, but she didn't particularly care. It wasn't very serious, so she just went along with it.

She glanced at the mirror. Strands of hair were sticking out, but she didn't mind.

She didn't felt like doing anything today.

Yawning again, she just opened the door, and dragged herself to the Tenth Division's office.

She slid opened the door. "Good morning…"

Hearing the door open, Matsumoto said, "Oh, good mor-WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" Jumping out of her seat, she knocked her tea over and crashed onto the ground, but she quickly grabbed Haineko and checked her face and hair. It was a mess!

"Oh…this?" Haineko replied sluggishly. "I just didn't feel like grooming it today…"

"Are you ok?" Matsumoto said with a worried face. "Maybe you should take a break today."

"No, I'm fine. I don't want to stay in bed…" she dragged herself to a seat and took out her pen. Hitsugaya simply raised an eyebrow at his lieutenant's zanpakutou's behaviour.

Hyourinmaru stared at Haineko. Did his words damaged her that badly?

"Hey, Hainkeo," Hyourinmaru began. "If you're still upset over my words from yesterday, then I apologize."

"No, it's not your fault Hyourinmaru," Haineko quickly brushed it off. "I'm just not in the mood for anything today…"

After that, Haineko went to the Fourth Division.

Unohana smiled. "Matsumoto-fukutaichou, if you just let your zanpakutou rest today, she'll be fine tomorrow. It's just a light headache," she reassured with her gentle smile.

"Thank you, Unohana-taichou," Matsumoto bowed. "C'mon, let's go." Grabbing her sluggish zanpakutou, as they both walked out of the door and disappeared from the picture.

Unohana was still smiling. "She sure did look awful today. Maybe I should've given her some hair medicine?"

* * *

Haineko sneezed.

"Woah, is it that bad that you caught a cold now?" Matsumoto exclaimed.

"No… my nose was kinda itchy so…"

"Well, better get going now. Stay in bed today and tomorrow and we'll go drinking tomorrow, ok?" Matsumoto patted her zanpakutou's head.

She nodded and sniffed. She felt like a child being treated by a parent.

* * *

Ayane-san: We hoped you enjoyed the chapter everyone!

Haineko *achoo!* Ugghhh...

Ayane-san: Are you sure your alright?...

Haineko: *sniff* Yea...totally fine...

Saaya: Do you need some medicine?

Haineko: No... It's fine... They don't even have one for zanpakutous anyways...

Saaya: Oh, you're right.


	7. Suzumebachi

Ayane-san: Sorry for the late chappy, but here it is!

Suzumebachi: xNarakunoHanax21 does not own Bleachor any of it's characters!

Ayane-san: Wha~ Suzumebachi is the only one obedient enough to say the disclaimer without anyone telling her like the others.

Suzumebachi: Well that's cause I get to be bigger in this chapter.

Saaya: ...You'll be traumatized.

* * *

"Yoruichi-sama!"

Suzumebachi groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Yoruichi-sama!"

She groaned again and followed her owner, although involuntarily.

"Yo-rui-chi-sa-ma~!"

Yoruichi spun around. She grinned and waved. "Yo."

"Yoruichi-sama!"

Suzumebachi trembled as many veins popped. "That's it!" she snapped. "It's always, 'Yoruichi-sama this,' 'Yoruichi-sama that!' What is wrong with her! Besides, why am I even following her around!" She scoffed and stubbornly crossed her arms. "I wonder what I should do to grow bigger so she can notice me…" Before she even knew it, Yoruichi and Soi Fon were already gone.

"In that case…"

"Woah!"

Suzumebachi flinched as she faced Kurotsuchi, who had sneaked up behind her without any warning. His clown-like grin drew closer to the little great hornet as he twisted and turned his head in odd directions.

"…how about you drink this?" Kurotsuchi said, holding up a small and thin glass bottle with a purplish grape color in between his fingers. His face turned into an impossible direction as he leaned closer to. "How about it? It'll make you grow to the size of a normal human being."

Suzumebachi's ears perked up. With sparkling eyes, she exclaimed, "Really?"

"Of course!" Kurotsuchi blurted out, his arms high in the air. He grinned closer and stuck the bottle in front of the spirit. "Which is better: following your master around or going all out by yourself?"

She immediately snatched the bottle and hugged it tight in her tiny body. "Going all out myself, of course!" She ripped open the cap and chugged the nasty grape-color down. The bottle was small enough for the tiny hornet's mouth to drink from.

In just a few seconds, she let out a huge breath and wiped the leftover drops off her lips.

Suddenly, her body started to glow. Suzumebachi always had some kind of glow to her, so it makes her stand out (for her small body), but the light grew bigger and brighter until it engulfed a small portion of the Second Division's barracks.

Kurotsuchi's clown-like grin was still on his face like he was frozen or something. However, his grin stretched by one centimeter, and his dimple was more visible like a dented piece of metal.

"Well?" he questioned, leaning forward as the light died down."You like it?"

Suzumebachi stared at the ground, glanced at her arms and feet. Her… Her feet was touching the ground! And it looked so tall! And, her legs! They looked so much taller and elegant than usual! Suzumebachi is finally human-sized!

"This is awesome!" Suzumebachi exclaimed, checking her new body out. "Finally, I won't be overshadowed by that fanatic anymore! Thanks, Kurotsuchi!" With that, she quickly used shunpo and disappeared away. But we'll dismiss the fact that she looks slower.

"Good, good," Kurotsuchi said, nodding his head. "Now, I shall now excuse myself…" A low crackle escaped his mouth as he walked away, receiving many shivers from the by-passers.

* * *

Suzumebachi shunpoed through almost the entire Rukongai. The residents only saw a flash of yellow and though that maybe it was just a bee, but it must've been one huge bee to cause such a wind!

"Fantastic!" she exclaimed, grinning as the wind pushed against her face. "Now all I gotta do is show that girl how much I changed! Oh, speak of the devil!" She grinned mischievously as she spotted Soi Fon talking dreamily with Yoruichi.

_Heh, watch this! _"Hey!"

"And so, after that-Hm?" Soi Fon glanced behind, after hearing the 'hey.' She recognized the voice, but she didn't recognize the body. Well, she did, but let's say…she's shocked.

"Su-Suzumebachi!" Soi Fon exclaimed, pointing at the human-sized hornet.

She grinned as she did a little pose in front of her. "Well? How do I look? Cute, right?"

"How did you grow so big?" Yoruichi asked, stroking her chin.

"Kurotsuchi gave me a potion and this is the result!" she said happily, smiling. She did a quick twirl and winked.

"Well," Soi Fon huffed, crossing her arms. "Your appearance doesn't matter, as long as your abilities don't change."

"Hmph, if your going to act like that all the time, you'll never get a boyfriend like that!" Suzumebachi called out, holding her chin away.

"Wha-" Yoruichi held out her hand from the captain's protest.

"She's right, Soi Fon," Yoruichi said calmly. She turned to Soi Fon and said with an innocent smile, "You shouldn't think about your duties all the time. Finding a boyfriend is much better for you!"

"E-Even Yoruichi-sama!" Soi Fon exclaimed.

"Whatever," Suzumebachi sighed. At least she showed her how she looks like now. "I'm going now."

"Oh, take care!" Yoruichi waved.

Soi Fon paid her no heed, as she simply daydreamed around Yoruichi, again.

The spirit took one glance behind her and puckered her lips before stubbornly turning away. "Hmph," she said softly. "Just when I finally got this new body, too!"

Suddenly, her body started to glow again. The light grew and took up a small portion of the area around her.

"H-Hey, what's happening-" The light calmed down, and when Suzumebachi looked around her… "…I-I'm back to my normal size!"

She gritted her teeth. "Where's that stupid clown scientist? Goodness, men really are worthless!"

Irritatingly, Suzumebachi dashed to the Twelfth Division, busted in through the door and made a quick complaint to the captain, "Hey, why am I back to my normal size?"

Kurotsuchi glanced over his shoulder, his face seemed to be lazy and irritated. "What? It's not to your liking? Then you should have said so earlier."

"That's not it!" Suzumebachi shouted, stomping her foot in the air. "Why am I back to my normal size?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," he grinned. "That potion lasts for only a few minutes."

"Then why didn't you say so earlier!"

He shrugged and stuck out his exceptionally long tongue. "I 'forgot.'"

A vein popped on her head. "Do you have anymore of those potions?" she asked as calmly as she could, trying to hold down her anger.

He grinned like a maniac. "Of course!" he walked to his desk and pulled out another bottle from the drawers.

She immediately snatched it from his hands and gulped it all down, and light emitted from her body and she once again regained the human-sized form.

She grinned. "Perfect." And then she quickly walked out of the creepy lab.

As soon as he heard the door click, Nemu spoke up and said, "Mayuri-sama, did you tell her the side-effects?"

"Oh," Kurotsuchi said flatly. "I 'forgot,' again."

"…" Nemu didn't say anything. She just stared at him.

Kurotsuchi turned around, shrugged his shoulders and stuck out his tongue.

Shortly after that, Suzumebachi took the potion several times a day, until one day, when she met Tobiume.

"Oh, is that you, Suzumebachi?" Tobiume asked as she passed by. "You look so much taller!"

"Of course!" she replied proudly, closing her eyes. "How do I look?"

"You look very nice. But I don't think I'm very used to the big you though…"

"Huh? What's wrong-" She opened her eyes. Her eyes widened a fraction as each second passed.

To Suzumebachi's surprise, Tobiume had tanned skin, cat-like golden eyes, and a mature dark purple hair color. Her clothes and all were the same, though. No, this is no longer Tobiume. This is Shihouin Yoruichi disguising as Tobiume!

"GAH!" She fell onto the floor and crawled away little by little.

"What's wrong?" Tobiume/Yoruichi said carefully. Even their voices were in synch!

"G-Get away from me! She finally influenced me with her 'Yoruichi-sama's'!" she yelled, backing away.

"What are you talking about?"

"A-Anyways, get away from me!" Finally, she ran away!

Tobiume blinked. "I wonder what's wrong?"

Suzumebachi desperately ran away. Is sticking around with Soi Fon for so long finally influencing her with her 'Yoruichi-sama' admiration? She imagined herself going crazy over Yoruichi along with Soi Fon.

It was an indescribable image.

As she ran, the hornet looked around her. Her eyes broadened.

There were Yoruichis everywhere, with difference features, but with the same skin and hair!

She screamed and ran even faster. _God, Soi Fon's admiration is contagious!_ Was what Suzumebachi thought.

As she flew, she spotted Senbonzakura. _It's Senbonzakura! _she thought happily. _With his face covered, I won't see his face! _"Senbonzakura!"

Senbonzakura looked up. "Suzumebachi? How did you get so tall?"

"I drank some of that scientist's potion! I'm glad that I don't see-WHAT THE HECK?" That mask that Senbonzakura was wearing… Is now a smiling face of Shihouin Yoruichi!

With a drop of tear in her eyes, she ran away and screamed, "Even Senbonzakura looks like Yoruichi!"

And so, the hornet ran from every single resident until she reached the lab, again.

She inhaled a deep breath before bursting into the room with her foot. "Hey!"

With yet another lazy and irritated look, Kurotsuchi said, "What now?"

"Why am I hallucinating all of these-GYAH!" Once again, Suzumebachi pushed herself against the door. "Thi-This is the creepiest of all!"

Kurotsuchi tilted his head. His head had the face of Yoruichi's, but his make-up and all were still on. Indeed, THIS IS CREEPY!

Suzumebachi screamed and bolted out of the door, not even noticing that her body was back to normal. But she seems to be a lot faster, though!

* * *

That night, Suzumebachi was in her bed, shivering at the events that happened today. "Sh-She finally influenced me…" she kept on mumbling. "She finally influenced me…"

Soi Fon stared at her with a sweatdrop. "What happened to her…?"

At that moment, the door slid open, and Yoruichi came in, grinning. "Hey there."

"Yoruichi-sama!" Soi Fon exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

She smirked "I brought you a present."

Her heart skipped a beat and her cheeks went slightly pink. _Y-Yoruichi-sama is giving me a present…Yoruichi-sama is giving me a present…! _"Th-Thank you very much, Yorui-"

Freeze.

Soi Fon froze in her spot. Colors drained away from her as she eroded away to dust. Hanging on Yoruichi's fingers, was Kurotsuchi, who was stubbornly looking away with an annoyed look.

"Y-Yoruichi-sama?" Soi Fon uttered out. "W-Why is Kurotsuchi-taichou here?"

"This guy," she emphasized as she pushed Kurotsuchi closer. "Is what made Suzumebachi grow."

"Tch," Kurotsuchi spat. "All I did was offer her some of my latest potion and she accepted it. It's not my fault." He stuck out his tongue.

"Oh, really?" Yoruichi said, grinning. "Then what about those side-effects?"

"She didn't ask."

"Oh, really? Then what about that Tenth Division captain? You made his zanpakutou into a keychain."

"Hitsugaya-taichou always wanted to grow, so I merely helped him out by minimizing his zanpakutou so it won't affect his growth."

"Then what about the Third Division's lieutenant? He has cats all over him."

"That depressing zanpakutou wanted to be more social, so I helped him out!"

"Hmm… Is that really helping them out?" Yoruichi questioned with an extremely sweet smile.

He returned the same, sarcastic smile. "Of course!"

She gripped his collar even tighter, a vein visible on her cheeks. "Really?"

"Of course!"

"Oh, I see!"

"Of course you see!"

They both laughed out loud. Until Yoruichi burned up this raging aura behind her.

"Does that include the Soutaichou?" she growled, her smile still there.

Kurotsuchi looked away sheepishly. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

* * *

"Kurotsuchi-taichou," Yamamoto announced. "If these were used in battle, then they would most definitely be a wonderful weapon. However, using it on your allies is simply deplorable. This potion…is banned!"

Kurotsuchi scoffed. "Hmph, do whatever you want. Well if you will excuse me now, I'm quite busy." He walked away with his hands shoved in his pockets.

Yamamoto stared at the door until it closed. He sighed and said, "We'll dismiss this meeting for now. You can go back now."

Most of the captains sighed and stretched out of the door, with their zanpakutous following behind.

However, Byakuya stayed there. He found something extremely tiny on the ground and it seemed to be burning with crimson red and orange.

"Soutaichou," Byakuya began, holding the object up. "May I ask what this is?"

Yamamoto ripped his eyes opened. He immediately jumped out of his seat and snatched the object and landed a few feet away.

"A captain should never dirty his hands for something like this!" he barked. "Now you may be dismissed!"

Byakuya simply nodded, completely unaffected by his shouts. "Yes, Soutaichou." And then he walked away.

As soon as Byakuya passed him and walked out of the room, Yamamoto sighed. He carefully stared at the burning object in his hand. "Ryuujin Jakka…"

* * *

Ayane-san: Please review!

Suzumebachi: S-So scary...

Ayane-san: Is she gonna be alright?

Saaya: ...I told you so.


	8. Sogyou no Kotowari

Ayane-san: This chapter is dedicated towards a request from a reader, we hope you and everyone else enjoy~!

Sogyou no Kotowari: Ayane-onee-chan and Saaya-onee-chan don't own Bleach!

Ayane-san: *A tear forms at the corner of the eye* *sniff* Kids grow up fast these days...

Saaya: ...Can you really say that after reading this chapter? *mumbles* _Kids sure are evil these days...heh._

* * *

Please read these rules highlighted in **bold **as you read this chapter. It contains the very important rules when handling kids like Sogyou no Kotowari. They may or may not contain the useful information to deal with kids.

**Rule Number 1: When playing with kids, make sure to keep a close eye on them at all times.**

Ukitake smiled as he sat on a nearby bench with Kyouraku. He felt absolutely fine today, so he decided to take a break from work and take Sogyou no Kotowari to a park in Soul Society and let them go wild.

After all, they're still kids.

"Hey, don't go too far or you'll end up getting lost!" Ukitake called out to them with a smile all over.

"You're just like a father, Jyuushirou," Kyouraku commented as he lazily stretched and relaxed on the bench.

"Well, they do need someone fatherly to watch over them after all," Ukitake replied. "Otherwise, who knows what they'll do!"

"Kids really don't know what they're doing lately," Kyouraku sighed. He pointed a finger straight ahead. "Look, there's an example."

Ukitake followed his finger.

His jaws dropped.

"ARF! ARF!"

"GAR! GAR!"

"RAWR! RAWR!"

Holy! Sogyou no Kotowari is _barking _at a bulldog! And they seem to be winning!

"ARF! ARF!" the bulldog barked. Translation to the dog: Get away from my territory, brats!

"GAR! GAR! RAWR! RAWR!" Sogyou no Kotowari shouted back at the dog on all fours, with faces like a cat scaring a rat away. They really don't know what they're doing. It just seemed…fun?

"ARF ARF ARF ARF!" Translation: What? Are you telling the great me to back off?

"RAWR!" Again, Sogyou no Kotowari just shouted out something random.

"ARF!" Translation: Now you're telling me to do buy you a manga? You lowly brats!

Suddenly, Sogyou no Kotowari pounced on the dog like an angry cat.

Frightened, the bulldog barked at them, but due to the "menacing" aura the two burned up, the dog slowly backed away. Forcing its shaky legs to move, the bulldog was banished from within their sight!

The twins grinned at each other. "Yea!"

"Well…that was something now wasn't it?" Kyouraku said with a sweatdrop, surprised at the kid's sudden actions and victory over the bulldog.

"Indeed it was…" Ukitake replied with a bewildered expression plastered on his face.

**Rule Number 2: When dinnertime, make sure to keep a close eye at them at all times.**

Sogyou no Kotowari pushed and rolled the vegetables in their plate back and forth with a bored look.

Swallowing his food, Ukitake scolded, "Hey, it's not a healthy habit to avoid your vegetables."

"But we don't like them," they responded.

Ukitake sighed. He grabbed their fork, poked it with a carrot and moved it closer to their mouth. "Come on, you have to eat at least a little."

Sogyou no Kotowari shook their heads stubbornly, moving away from the orange vegetable like it gave off a bad aura. "Mmm…No!"

"Don't be so stubborn. Here, say 'ah…'"

"Never!"

Suddenly, Kurotsuchi rose up from behind Ukitake with a huge maniac grin glued. "Perhaps _I _can be of some help?" he said, getting closer to Ukitake.

"K-Kurotsuchi-taichou! Where did you…How did you...?"

"That doesn't matter," he said. Suddenly, he brought out a water gun-like gun from his sleeves. "Look at this, Sogyou no Kotowari! This is a tool that will make all crying children laugh!"

"R-Really?" they said together, moving a bit closer.

"Of course!" Kurostsuchi exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. "Watch this!" He pointed the gun at the plate of unfinished vegetables. A thin red light shot out like alien light and spread and swallowed its red light all around the plate.

Their bright green eyes were filled with curiosity and amazement as they watch the entire scene right here in the Thirteenth Division's office.

"Wow!" exclaimed the twin on the left.

"It's all red!" shouted the one on the right.

"It's like blood!" the left twin said.

"Like blood!" the other twin repeated. They both began to laugh out loud.

Then, when the red light died down, no changes were made in the plate.

Sogyou no Kotowari blinked. Then they pouted.

"Nothing happened!"

"Nothing happened!"

"Of course nothing happened!" Kurotsuchi said. "I told you! It's a tool that'll make all children laugh! You two just laughed!"

Puffing their cheeks even further, they both climbed onto Kurotsuchi and started to hit him and pull his cheeks with their tiny fists.

"Be quiet, you dumb clown!"

"Yea, be quiet you liar!"

"Liar, liar, liar, liar!" They both shouted out, punching him continuously.

Ukitake had a blank look with a sweat drop. _Ahh… I should've known Kurotsuchi-taichou was of no help…_

**Rule Number 3: Even when going to bed, keep a close eye at them at all times.**

Bright green eyes pierced through the dark room.

"Hey, you're awake, right?"

"I'm awake."

"I'm bored."

"Me too."

"Wanna go?"

"Wanna go?"

Sogyou no Kotowari looked at each other before breaking into a huge grin. They kicked the blanket off, lightly jumped down and tip-toed away to the door, making sure not to wake up the sleeping Ukitake.

"Shhh…" They both hushed to each other, putting a finger over their lips. They smiled and then walked away.

Swinging their hands as they walked through the night, Sogyou no Kotowari wandered through the Seireitei.

"What should we do?" asked the one on the right.

"Play?"

"But everyone's asleep."

"Then… play tag?"

"But we'll wake everyone up."

"Then what should we do?"

"That's why I asked the question."

"Oh. Then…let's make shadow puppets!"

"Shadow puppets?"

"The moon is out and all, so let's make shadow puppets!" the left twin grinned and held up two fingers, and a shadow was marked on the wall. "What am I?"

"Hmm…" the right twin rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "A bunny!"

"Bingo!" the left one exclaimed. "Then it's your turn."

The other twin nodded and held up his tiny hands and locked his thumbs together. "What am I?"

"Hmm…" the left twin rubbed his chin. "A butterfly!"

"Your right! Then it's your turn."

"Sure." Holding up his palm sideways, and overlapping it with a straight palm with its fingers stretched out, he said, "What am I?"

"Hmm…" the right twin rubbed his chin. "Is it some kind of animal?"

He shook his head. "Nope."

"Chopsticks on rice?"

"Nope."

"I give up," the right twin said. "What is it?"

"It's a box of Pocky!"

"Ehhh? That's not fair!"

"What are you talking about? You can do it too."

And so it went on like that for the rest of the night with a still sleeping Ukitake in his room, unaware of what the twins were doing.

**Rule Number 4: In fact, keep a close eye at them at ALL times.**

Kiyone growled.

Sentarou hissed.

"Taichou wants _this _tomato!" Kiyone exclaimed.

"No, Taichou wants _this _tomato! It's a lot fresher than your moldy one!" Sentarou called out.

"It's not moldy! It's excellent in its redness! Look at this, no soft spots anywhere."

"No, mine is even better! It's a brilliant scarlet red, all the way to the top! And it's fragrant everywhere you smell it!"

"So what? Mine is fragrant everywhere you smell it, too!"

"Don't copy me!"

"I'm not copying you!"

As they shout and argued about the fruit (vegetable?), they received strange looks from the customers around them. They should be ashamed!

A sweatdrop fell down Ukitake's head. All he was doing was some grocery shopping because Sogyou no Kotowari said they wanted to buy something for dinner tonight. But…

He took a glance at the shopping cart.

…they were filled with boxes of Pocky.

"Let's choose this one!" the left twin said.

"And this one!"

"We don't have enough money for that," Ukitake said. "Each of you can choose one box only."

Sogyou no Kotowari turned toward him, giving him watery puppy eyes. "W-We can't…?"

The captain took a step back. Puppy eyes were too tempting and plus he couldn't say 'No' to those eyes. "N-No, it's not like you can't… But we don't have enough money for that…"

"Papa…" they suddenly mumbled out with teary eyes.

"P-Papa?" Ukitake exclaimed.

"Oh my, they said papa," said one passing by lady, who was whispering to another. Ukitake's ears immediately caught it. S-Shoot!

"He looks rather young. Isn't he too young to have kids this big already? My kids are so scary these days."

"And his hair! It's already turning white at such a young age. But his kids also have his hair. My, I feel bad for those kids."

"But the children are beautiful."

"Papa…" Sogyou no Kotowari mumbled out once again, tears spilling out from their eyes.

Ukitake gave up. "Ok, ok, fine! I'll buy it!"

"Really?" they exclaimed, their eyes lighting up again with glee.

"Yes, yes," Ukitake sighed.

"Yay!" With that, they jumped up and down, secretly hiding their dark and rascal smirks.

**Rule Number 5: It doesn't matter how innocent they are. Always know when your child is faking tears and also to never, NEVER fall into their evil innocent traps because it will leave you broke for at least a week or longer.**

* * *

Ayane-san: Please review this chapter for the children~ *Puts Sogyou no Kotowari in front*

Sogyou no Kotowari: *Have puppy eyes again* For us? Please~?

Ukitake: *sighs*

Ayane-san: Are you all right, Ukitake-san?

Ukitake: Yes, I'm fi—*coughs and collapses*

Ayane-san: AH! HE FAINTED! QUICK, SOMEONE CALL THE FOURTH DIVISION HERE!

Saaya: UKITAKE-SAN! *takes out something* EAT THE POCKY! IT'S CHOCOLATE FLAVORED! CHOCOLATE IS GOOD FOR YOU! Or so the doctors say.

U-Ukitake: I-Instead of P-Pocky... I-I'd like a r-re...*collapses*


	9. Hisagomaru

Ayane-san: Today's chapter contains a very apologetic zanpakutou we all know!

Hisagomaru: It is a pleasure to meet you.

Ayane-san: Please say the disclaimer for us.

Hisagomaru: These two do not own Bleach... I'M SORRY! I WAS BEING OFFENSIVE AND CRUSHING YOUR DREAMS, WEREN'T I?

Ayane-san: That's what the disclaimers are for—

Hisagomaru: I'M SORRY!

Saaya: Hisagomaru...

* * *

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

The shinigami stared with an uneasy eye. "N-No, you don't have to apologize this much…"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Like I said, you don't have to apologize…"

"I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!"

The shinigami sighed in defeat. "J-Just be careful next time, ok…?"

"YES! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!"

He laughed nervously before moving on.

Hisagomaru sighed and continued to sweep around the Fourth Division. He accidentally poked the bypassing shinigami on the hand. Terrified that he'll get scolded, Hisagomaru kept on apologizing, which explains the scene above.

Sweeping up the remaining dust, he collected it into a pan and then threw it out properly in the trash.

"Ah, Hisagomaru!"

Hisagomaru flinched at the sudden voice. "Y-Yes?"

Hanatarou walked over to him. "Unohana-taichou needs your help to heal some patients. Come over, quick!"

"Y-Yes, sir!" Hisagomaru said, saluting. He dropped the broom properly where he had found it and then dashed into the Fourth Division's building, with Hanatarou following behind.

"I've brought him here, Unohana-taichou!" Hanatarou said as they arrived in the building.

"Good work, Seventh Seat Yamada," Unohana said. "Hisagomaru, please come over here."

Hisagomaru nodded and tip-toed towards her direction.

Unohana simply smiled and pointed to her right…revealing a huge pile of beaten and torn up shinigami (most probably Eleventh members) bleeding profusely with chipped and broken teeth.

Hisagomaru backed away, gulping.

"Would you mind healing them?" Unohana said, smiling. She didn't even bother trying to hide that deadly aura behind her. "If they resist, please don't hesitate to use your canon on them."

Hisagomaru nodded stiffly. "Y-Yes, ma'am!" Without any hesitation (although he was still stiff) Hisagomaru stabbed everyone with his sword one by one (along with painful yelps with relaxing words) and healed everyone peacefully(?).

"I'm sorry!" Hisagomaru yelped with each stab.

Stab.

"I'm sorry!"

Stab stab.

"I'm sorry~!

Stab stab stab.

"I'm sorry~~~!"

Hanatarou watches far away, with a smile like he doesn't see anything.

After healing some patients, Hisagomaru went back to sweeping the garden again.

However at that moment, the manifested zanpakutou saw something glinting in the sky.

"Eh? What is that…"

In fact, the glint was flashing even more.

"It's hurting my eyes…"

Oh, it's getting bigger as well.

"Ow…"

Hey, it's getting smoother and shinier.

"…my eye…"

As the mysterious object got bigger and shinier, Hisagomaru finally knew what it was.

"I-Ik—"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The shiny and round object finally made a head-busting impact with the robotic-toy zanpakutou…straight on the head.

The object rolled onto the floor. "Ow… Damn that Zaraki-taichou… He really—"

"I'M SORRY!"

"Huh?" Ikkaku stared at him confusingly. "What're you apologizing for?"

"I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE ANOTHER SUN FOR A MOMENT WHEN YOU WERE FLYING SO HAPPILY IN THE SKY! IT'S JUST THAT YOUR HEAD WAS SO SHINY THAT I THOUGHT MY EYE WAS GOING TO BURN! I'M SORRRRYYYY!"

Ikkaku didn't know whether to say it's ok, or to get mad at him for insulting his prideful bald—

"Don't say it!"

—shaved head, I mean.

"I'M SORRY! YOUR HEAD IS JUST SO SHINY, I JUST CAN'T GET MY EYES OFF OF IT!"

_Snap._

With a fuming, malicious, dark and deadly aura, Ikkaku waved his zanpakutou dangerously around the shivering Hisagomaru who was practically tearing up like he's seeing a demonic mother.

"I-I'm sorry…"

"…Sorry ain't gonna cut it buddy…" With an evil glint in his eye, Ikkaku loomed over him, and then…

…

That concludes the chapter for today. Don't worry, Hisaggomaru didn't get hurt in the end because he was so scared that he unintentionally used his cannon (from absorbing all those injuries from before) and shot Ikkaku back flying in the sky. But before he fired, the only words he said in fear and guilt were—

"I'M SORRY!"

* * *

Ayane-san: Thank you for reading, you guys! Please review!

Hisagomaru: I'M SORRY, IKKAKU-SAN!

Ayane-san: He's really apologetic isn't he... *sweatdrop*

Saaya: By the way, this'll be the last update you'll see for about two months. Due to some circumstances, I'll be going somewhere where I cannot have free access to my computer.

Hisagomaru: I'M SORRY!


	10. Houzukimaru & Ruri'iro Kujaku

Ayane-san: GOMENE~~! We've been ubberly busy with tests and shit so we haven't been able to update in a while. Please enjoy this chapter~

Houzukimaru: Does a test seriously take this long?

Ayane-san: Try taking my place for a day and you'll get it(the stress, I mean).

Saaya: Yes, it's terrible...when Ayane-san is stressed out...*pats on shoulder* It's much worse than what you're going through in this chapter, Houzukimaru-san...

Houzukimaru: E-Eh? Really?

Saaya: Now the disclaimers...but just look at the other chapters for it.

* * *

Houzukimaru was taking a stroll down the Rukongai, whistling with nothing to do. There were no missions lately, so he had lots of free time. Kenpachi usually made and Yumichika do the paperwork, and Houzukimaru wouldn't be caught dead handling the paperwork and stuff.

"Fancy you meeting you here, Houzukimaru," came an elegant voice.

Houzukimaru turned around. "What, it's Ayasegawa's zanpakutou."

"It's Ruri'iro Kujaku," he snorted and flipped his hair back. "So what're you doing out here? You're not going to train with your master?"

"No, he's out chasing someone," he replied. "What're _you _doing here?"

Ruri'iro Kujaku flipped his hair again. "I'm just bathing myself in the sun for healthy skin. Got a problem?"

Houzukimaru stared at him with suspicious eyes. _I bet Ayasegawa didn't want him to bother him…_he thought.

_This brute probably doesn't even know how to do anything except to fight…ew, _Ruri'iro Kujaku thought distastefully.

As they both were immersed into their thoughts, the two were pulled into an awkward silence. The truth is, both of them had nothing to do.

The peacock zanpakutou took a glance at Houzukimaru's "loincloth" and wrinkled his nose. "That loincloth of yours is ugly," he grumbled. "Why don't I take you out to buy you a new one?"

Houzukimaru tugged his loincloth. "Eh, it's fine. I have more."

"Absolutely not!" Ruri'iro Kujaku screeched. He grabbed his friend by the arm and began to drag him on his feet. "I'll introduce you to a shop that'll definitely fit your tastes!"

"Oi, stop it! I'll just wash this and then-"

Ruri'iro halted. Houzukimaru glanced at him, and suddenly, his face went sweaty and pale.

With dark, hollow eyes and a deadly aura burning up behind him, the zanpakutou threatened, _"You'll come, right?"_

Houzukimaru slapped his lips shut.

As soon as they entered the shop that Ruri'iro Kujaku mentioned, they spotted Matsumoto Rangiku engrossing herself in the clothes.

"Oh? Hey! It's Ikkaku and Yumichika's zanpakutous!"

"It's Ruri'iro Kujaku and Houzukimaru," the peacock sighed. "Anyways, I didn't know you visited this shop."

"What are you saying! I LOVE this shop!" Matsumoto squealed, twirling this dress around. "All the clothes are so cute!"

"I agree," he said thoughtfully, nodding his head.

"So what are you guys doing here?" the lieutenant asked. "Shopping together?"

"Yes," Ruri'iro said, flipping his hair again. "We're buying Houzukimaru some new clothes. His old ones are too dirty."

Houzukimaru grumbled. "Oi, you don't need to-"

"I'LL HELP!" Matsumoto exclaimed excitedly. "This is the first time I've dressed a guy up! Let me in! Please?"

"Why, of course!" Ruri'iro Kujaku exclaimed as well, opening up his arms and dropping his friend on the ground. "I believe something like a kimono would suit Houzukimaru."

"Really? Then let's get him started then!" Matsumoto magically took out a pile of clothes in her hand that seems to be piling up higher and higher.

Houzukimaru paled.

"My, do you have wonderful taste!" he complimented. "I believe something like this would be nice as well," Ruri'iro took out a pair of jeans with a belt on it.

"Looks cool! C'mon, Houzukimaru! Get in there!" Matsumoto and Ruri'iro pointed to the dressing room.

"Uh, wait," Houzukimaru protested. "It's too much, and besides, I'm not pay-"

"_GET IN._" They both demanded with a smile, but with a deadly aura surrounding them.

Houzukimaru can't help but feel inferior to their mightiness.

As Houzukimaru is inside the dressing room changing, Matsumoto and Ruri'iro Kujaku keep searching through the shop for clothes (mainly for themselves) suitable to Houzukimaru.

"Um…"

"Oh, done already?" Matsumoto said.

Some shuffling can be heard inside the room as the two excitedly waited for him to come out.

"This is a little too flashy…"

"It's fine. Just come out!" Ruri;iro demanded.

The demon zanpakutou opened the door and scratched his cheek. He was wearing a dull maroon red kimono with his chest wide open a (fake) pipe was hanging from his mouth. "Uh…"

Matsumoto and Ruri'iro were stunned into silence before bursting into high pitched squeals. "HE LOOKS AWESOME!" Matsumoto shouted. "HE'S LIKE THE BOSS OF A YAKUZA!"

"I knew Houzukimaru had the potential inside of him," the zanpakutou said proudly, flipping his hair. "But we still have many more clothes left! Houzukimaru, try this one on next!" He threw him a sack of clothes which Houzukimaru caught.

"Huh? Isn't this…"

He emitted a deadly aura.

"…fine." And he obediently went back inside.

A few minutes later, Houzukimaru came back out with a shihakusho and a katana by his side. "Uh…how is this any different from the shinigami uniforms?"

"It's fine, isn't it?" Matsumoto said. "You look great! Now try this one on next!" She threw him yet another sack of clothes.

Then this continued, over and over and over and over, with Ruri'iro threatening him, with Matsumoto urging him on…Houzukimaru was at his limit. Finally, when the sun came down…

"Phew!" Matsumoto let out, wiping her sweat. "I think I just lost a few pounds from being too excited!"

"It was worth it," Ruri'iro said with a glint. "Why don't we go home now?"

"Agreed!" And thus, the two walked down the street on the Seireitei, with a giant shadow trailing behind them…

* * *

Ikkaku groaned as he rubbed his neck. "Damn that Hisagomaru…" he mumbled. "Where's Houzukimaru?"

"Ikkaku."

"Oh, there you were-" he turned around and, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING!"

Houzukimaru was standing right there outside, with black sunglasses glinting in the moonlight, his (fake) pipe lighting up, his hands shoved into his shiny black jumper's jacket and sitting on an unknown motor bike from god knows who where he got that from.

"Yo," he said huskily with his hands up.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!"

He took his sunglasses out. "Uh, sorry… Ruri'iro and the tenth division's lieutenant forced this upon me…" he rubbed his neck.

Ikkaku's eyes twitched. "T-Tell me… H-How much d-did you spend on those…?"

"Umm…about…" the rest was censored out.

Ikkaku's mouth dropped to the floor with a comical sketchy face as his screamed echoed into the dark night sky, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Ayane-san: Please review this story and help fund for the Eleventh Division's budget. *bows*

Ikkaku: WHY AM I ALWAYS STUCK WITH THE PROBLEMS!

Ayane-san: Who knows, might be that shiny head of yours that attracts them *points at Ikkaku's head*

Saaya: It's a magnetic attraction to your shiny head, Ikkaku.

Ikkaku: ...EXTEND, HOUZUKIMARUUUUUU!


End file.
